This is a true story, every word. Which is why it’s long.
DUNGENESS CRABS
St. Paddy's Day Crabs cooked in Bouillabaisse Style
Where do I file this? crabs,
St Patrick's Day, or animal murder?
I had been hunting for a way to get real west coast
Dungeness Crabs ever since Jeff Mallory Fedexed me a
few cooked ones two years ago. I never forgot the
flavor, and
how jealous I was that they weren't East Coast.
Then I saw Mario Batali
cooking some on his TV show,
and I decided that if he could get some, well, so
could I. He might have the entire Food Network at
his disposal,
but that was a minor detail. I had determination on my side. /
My first call was to his restaurant, left a message, but he never called.
Maybe too busy, maybe never got the
message.
He probably gets a lot of calls --the show and all.
Anyway, I called the place I originally got them
from, in
Undaunted, I thought..."why not
after all we ARE in New York, where everything is available
if you look hard enough (and pay enough)” A few persistent (really
pushy) phone calls to our seafood purveyor yielded
the name and
location of "Chinatown Seafood" on
Elizabeth Street, well, it was also
St. Patrick's Day weekend, Saturday, (this will be important later)
and there was nothing to worry about at
The Black Sheep. Everyone in
town is cooking corned beef, and so was I. I never
sold any,
and we usually had serious leftovers, but it was a tradition,
and I happen to love good corned beef the way I prepare it,
and the kind we got was the very best you can buy.
I lived next door to the restaurant, and brought the meat home
so I could keep an eye on it. The house was filling with the aromas
of that wonderful spiced tradition, mine as Jewish as Irish,
slow steamed over fragrant spices and herbs, never boiled,
and my steamer was huge, and new, I paid too much for it,
so decided, sell the CB or not,
I was going to use that steamer.
Easily distracted, and always bad at focusing on
only one thing
at a time., I grabbed the
car, Eric King to ride shotgun, and drove
down to
scene! Never ever, ever go there in a car on
Saturday!
Unbelievable mobs! The streets of
evacuation of
walk over your car, look
straight ahead as in a dream, ignoring you.
your horn is useless, you know you are driving a machine capable
of killing,
but there you are...invisible, stuck.
We finally locate the place, Eric takes the car
with orders to drive
around the block a few times, gangster style, and I
cautiously went
inside. One look told me an adventure was under
way.
Shades of Dr. Fu Manchu! -- dim, dank air, filled with bubbling
green-grey tanks on the
high dark walls, barely see the ceiling, fresh,
sweet sea smells.. I felt a presence of danger, and
there... in one of
the tanks were my Dungeness guys!
There was a lone darkly-clad figure working the
tanks, and I explained
in pidgin English why I
was there and who sent me, but he spoke not
a word, gestured over to the end of the room where
I saw a man
inside a window. I walked over and explained again
what my need
was. A quickly barked command from him to the minion, and three
HUGE crabs were placed on the scale. Wow! It is truly said that
Fortune favors the bold. The price of $42 surprised
me, but hell, I
came all this way and was not to be stopped by a
few bucks.
Now Eric had got himself lost, so I started to
jog for blocks while
hauling my hefty prize, to find him -- he had got
himself stuck
in the middle of a traffic jam, which he actually caused, double parked
somewhere
with traffic noisily telling him to move. Ah, Eric,
disaster was always
his homing signal.
Home we went, back to my corned beef which was
steaming quietly
on the stove, the vapors were awsome,
the house smelled like Irish
Heaven, (recall what day it was). I distracted
myself as I fussed with
the cabbage, the potatoes, the carrots and the
leeks,
the steaming of these vegetables in the corned beef
steam
would give them a special flavor, but the crabs –
they were sitting in their shopping bag
wondering whatever was going on, and no
doubt in discomfort.
(do crabs wonder things?)
“Murder in the kitchen”
Now the old anguish came again. What was I to do? Surely
they weren't to be pets! They have to die, but
humanely, and
soon. God, again I'm a murderer. I hate this part
of it,
I recall my first lobster, same awful feeling in the pit of my stomach,
I HATE killing things.
The new steamer with the corned beef beckons, I hesitate, tell
myself it will be quick and painless, then gently
place them on
the rack inside the steamer, giving each one a kiss
on its
enormous back shell. Kissing a crab, such a stupid
gesture, I
know -- I felt helpless. Committed but wishing I
could have turned
back. So I've resolved to make their existence
worth something,
and devote my best energies to turning out the best
damn crabs
I can cook.
Now that the restaurant is gone, I am enjoying Tofu more often,
A few notes on cooking: Total steaming time, 15
minutes, with
the vapors of the corned beef to enhance the
combination. No, the crab juices did NOT mix with
the
Corned Beef! I know what the CB did for the crabs,
they picked up heavenly and exotic colorations. This is the
stuff of gastronomy.
The Corned beef was the silkiest, most delicious
I ever ate, and
of course, no one bought it, even the waiters
didn't want to eat
Corned Beef that night, but I eventually got rid of
the leftovers
with CB Hash at brunch. Poached
or fried eggs over the top.
Yes. That’s another bit of ‘stuff of gastronomy:
leftovers.
The crabs were better than expected. I was
at once back
in Provene.
RECIPE SECTION:
Inspired by Julia's Bouillabaisse, I decided to confront my now chilled
crabs: Pulling off the carapace from the rear, and pulling off and discarding
the heads, and the gills (dead man's fingers) I cut the crab pieces up and set
them aside. I smashed whatever shells there were and placed them in my pot.
Minced leek tops, onions, garlic, and plenty of olive oil went in. Then when the vegs had softened, I doused
the pot with brandy, and flamed it.
After the flames died down, in went the following:
4 tb tomato paste
Bay Leaf ( 2 )
Orange Peel
A teaspoon of fennel seeds, crushed
mercilessly fry the mess, you want to fry the tomato paste and mash
it with everything else, it helps the flavor, then add:
half a bottle of white wine, or a glass of dry vermouth
water to cover the shells
the juice of the orange
salt & pepper
pinch of saffron - it’s costly, but worth it.
around half a cup of olive oil
Make a broth (simmer 30 minutes) and strain it, reserve the pieces of crab
which you have cut up into portion size pieces, so your guests can eat, let
them know they are encouraged to use their hands.
The beautiful rich broth is ladled over the crab parts, served
in a broad bowl with grilled bread with garlic, lots of napkins
and a shell cracking thing, as I recall there was enough for
two days, the first day we did it with only the crabs, the
next the broth simmered with some clams, shrimp and a
mussel or two, I don't recall which version I liked more, but
I was content. I hope the crabs know I did my best, I doubt I
will ever again serve that dish with steamed corned beef as
a starter course.
Of course you can make a Bouillabaisse
using this technique. Make the broth,
cut up pieces of whatever fish you can find, I like to use snapper, cod,
hake, halibut, grouper, or just about any fresh firm-fleshed fish, hopefully
with some flavor. I avoid salmon, sole, tuna, sword fish. I just don’t care for
the strong fishy flavor. Simmer the fish in the broth until cooked, and serve.
In Marseilles, where the dish was supposed to have been invented, the broth
remains all the time, simmering on a pot on the lowest back burner, and all
sorts of fishy and vegetable things go in, and the broth keeps brewing. I say
“supposed to” because the same or very similar versions of it are found in
every culture where seafood and water are found. One of the best, and equally
as good from what I’ve tasted, is Cioppino,